Many couples negotiate what can be included on the menu if and when they play around with others. For some couples, kissing may be a no-no, whereas for others, everything but full intercourse is OK.

If this ever applies to you, make sure that you set the line at a place that meets your sexual needs.

Some couples focus less on the behaviors and instead focus on safety. For these couples, the important thing is making sure they don’t put themselves or their partners at risk for HIV or other STIs. This means making sure to always use condoms and PrEP when they have sex with anyone else. It could also mean only doing behaviors that are less likely to transmit an infection, like giving hand jobs.

Whatever your relationship agreement, make sure that you set the line at a place that meets your health needs.

Some couple are more concerned about emotional monogamy than they are about sexual monogamy. They set boundaries such as:

For this boundary, make sure you set the line at a place that meets your emotional needs.

Agreeing about where the sexual, safety, and emotional lines are can be an ongoing process. Talk about your boundaries when the relationship begins, when the agreement changes, or when someone crosses the line.

Remember, you may change the agreement when it isn’t meeting your emotional, sexual, and/or health needs.